I’ve heard that good photographers only show their best work, and this certainly isn’t one of mine. It’s the view I have looking into the living room of my home. Not very picturesque, the lighting and the focus are awful.
So why post it? Just to make the point, I guess. I am inside and not outside. I’ve had little opportunity lately to take photographs. When I am feeling mean-spirited about myself, I tell myself that I am just being lazy and not putting forth the effort. But the truth is I’m exhausted. Two jobs, doing continuing education in the evenings as I can, church committees, travel for work, caring for family, doing as best I can much of the housework, caring for the yard, trying to figure out the vagaries of home improvement and debt reduction. It’s all a little trying on me.
Tonight on the way home from work I told myself that tonight was going to be the night. I would put forth the effort to get out about an hour before sunset and find something – anything – to shoot in the best light of the day. I’m so tired I can hardly hold my head up, but I was determined. By the time the magic hour came around I only had the energy to make it to my back yard, but I told myself that was OK. A far better photographer than I am once told me that I just needed to look at my back yard differently, and this was a good opportunity.
Then I spotted the ground by the house moving. Thousands of red flying ants. Thousands upon thousands. Probably half a dozen nests. I trudged back into the house to get the necessary chemicals to deal with them. By the time I was done, the sun was set well below anything I could shoot it without a tripod. Since my tripod recently bit the dust, I was out of luck for tonight. Won’t be able to afford a new one for quite some time.
So I pointed the camera wistfully out the front window, thinking of sunrise tomorrow. Somehow, I can’t find it in my heart to be optimistic about the morning light. I need to sleep.