It was time to say goodbye to a dear friend and close companion last week. This leaves me alone in the house. It’s a situation I always knew I’d wind up in, but I was somewhat taken aback by the enormity of the change. Almost immediately I became aware of key differences in my life.
There is no longer someone in the house that wants to be with me. Unconditionally.
There is no longer someone in the house that is intensely interested in whatever I am doing.
There is no longer someone in the house that I always need to be aware of and make considerations for.
There is no longer someone in the house whose needs I can fulfill.
My home has become a much larger space since his leaving. Not just because his presence is gone, but because my own presence has diminished. In the end, Rheaghal was someone to talk to. I asked him questions, I accused him of eating the remote whenever I couldn’t find it. I sought his opinion on what to have for dinner.
He was a reason for me to speak, to interact. Now I must find my way through the rest of my life without him. I will do it, but a significant part of the joy is gone.